Experiencing the Mystic

Saturday I spent the day in London, at a conference organised by the Alister Hardy Trust a research centre for religious experiences.

A long day, in some ways and much too warm for me, but really interesting talks, and great to meet up with Tony from our London Sangha. There were three speakers, Dr. Paul Marshall, Dr. Peter Moore and Dr. Peter Fenwick. Marshall talked about mystical encounters with the natural world, Moore presented critical arguments  regarding the study of  the mystic ('Should it be limited to the mystic event?', 'Can study of events mean anything more than personal?' and so on) and Fenwick, Emeritus consultant Neuropsychiatric at the Maudsley - presented some recent studies of mind/brain correlation, and studies that suggest mind and consciousness is more expansive than the physical. All fascinating stuff.

Perhaps the most interesting event happened on the coach ride home, when I experienced my own 'opening' or mystical event.  Completely unasked for, and not striven for and separate from any specific practice:

I was warm, I still had the headache that had been plaguing me since the morning, and I couldn't settle in to reading any of the texts I had. I was scrolling though my mp3 player, skipping between different songs, I eventually let it rest with They Might be Giants.

Birdhouse in your soul

I'm not sure which track I was listening to, but gradually I became aware of feeling like my heart was opening like the petals of a lotus flower. I was completely at ease; I thought 'I hadn't realised that I had been tense before..'. I felt a great love for the whole world, I wanted to dance and sing (And I did, a little) and to run and hug everyone on the coach and tell them that everything was okay, just as it was. Better than okay even.

From here I was able to look back at my old, usual self and see what a fool I really was, how I had been caught by traps set by my own mind, and how to be able to love fully was the solution to all of these.  There was a sense of hyper reality.

Although I didn't experience any visual effects, there was a sense of heightened perception and of a great light (no actual light). My  body felt completely alive, high even, and I had the feeling that anything was possible. And that really things were much simpler that I had previously thought.

I also had the sense that a great light, or love was entering me through the top of my head, flowing into me and then being projected from my heart. This was a felt sensation rather than visual, and I almost had a sense that actually that wasn't what was really happening, just a way that I could comprehend the inexplicable.

I was ecstatic, and felt like a new person, connected to, but separate from my normal self, my usual being.  Put simply it felt like I was seeing this world as a Pureland and seeing all the things within as Buddhas.

These feelings, psychical and emotional, lasted for no more than an hour, (perhaps much shorter than this, looking back - I'm not sure) and I returned to my normal self, although feeling a little lighter, and more at ease.

It's difficult to know what triggered this, were the conditions set in place by the conference, and then triggered by the music? Much of what I described is common to many such experiences, although I have had similar before - prior to knowing anything about this are of study. Is the sense of ease I still have with me, an effect of those moments, or other external things which have changed for me, or that I have realised? probably a combination both.

I am left with a greater sense of faith, although I'm not sure in what, and a sense of fluidity, and acceptance  that whatever happens in this life, things really will be okay  in the end. And of course, something to add to the Alister Hardy library, and to our own research project.

Namo Amida Bu